Family and Discipline
Family
Jade, the idea of family can be a tricky subject. In the natural, you have a biological mother and father who procreated to give birth to you, and every person on this earth was made that way (in some fashion). Yet, in God’s kingdom, family is not by blood, but spiritual. Everyone birthed in God’s kingdom has Him as their Father, and experience as their mother. My job is only to take care of you and pass on the wisdom that our Father has given me, as well as protect you in your early years…or at least as long as I am available on this earth. I have learned (the hard way) that blood relatives are not always family, and friends in Christ can be more of a family than even your mother or father can be (if they’re not following Christ). I hope one day when you grow up you will see me as your sister in Christ and not just your mother. I have had to walk a very difficult walk to get to this point where I can write these devotionals to you and have the wisdom to be consistent with it.
But back to family…your family is bigger than you can imagine; you just have to discover those who walk with Jesus. And since you have the Holy Spirit, he will guide you to find your people. I love you deeply, and I want to be one of your people, as you are mine. But be careful who you call family; even Jesus had to walk away from his biological family to discover his purpose.
Matthew 12:46-50 (NKJV)
[46] While He was still talking to the multitudes, behold, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak with Him. [47] Then one said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.” [48] But He answered and said to the one who told Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” [49] And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! [50] For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.”
What did Jesus mean by this? Was he denying relation to his biological family? By no means. But what He was doing is establishing their priority in the kingdom. If we are to be born again, which is symbolic for us to die to sin, we are establishing new family relations, with God as our Father. You will know who your true family is by their good fruit (Matthew 7:16-17). The family of Christ bears good fruit. Do you know what people who bear good fruit have? They have love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). This is what you should look for, Jade, in the character of the people you surround yourself with.
God is love, and Jesus is the spirit of truth. Jesus, the truth, said that his family were those who did the will of the Father. Always follow the truth, and you will find the path to righteousness and those who serve the Father. Love is a key indicator (see 1 Corinthians 13) that should direct your path. Real family should be about love, not about blood relations. I’m talking about real love…agape love.
The history of our family is kind of traumatic, but in my case, I had to learn to love myself before I could finally love anyone else, including you. Even though I knew of God at an early age, it has taken me years to finally have a true relationship with Him. But God adopted me into His family and loved me way before I even knew what true love was. As it says in 1 John 4:19 (NKJV): “We love Him because He first loved us.” God has to show us what familial love looks like, and he started training me in the ways of familial love by giving me my niece, which is your cousin. I learned to love her like a daughter, even when I didn’t think I could have children on my own. Love is an action, and the act of love is the best indicator on who you should consider family. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8 NKJV).
Discipline
I want to touch on the subject of discipline. You’re so young now, but when you begin walking and talking, training you in the right way will become an issue for me and your father. And I have thoughts on that. Discipline can be as tricky as the topic as family, but I want you to know that God disciplines those he loves, and I have to follow His example. Everyone who’s ever heard of biblical discipline knows of “spare the rod spoil the child,” (which are not the biblical words from the bible), or “train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). But there are plenty of verses in the book of Proverbs that talk about using a rod to discipline a child, especially in the book of Proverbs. The actual verse that “sparing the rod” comes from is Proverbs 13:24, which states: “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” While I do believe that training up a child and disciplining them is necessary, God does not beat us with a physical rod. You could say as His children we are disciplined with a spiritual rod; we are not saved from the consequences of our actions. I know you are young, but I do not want to ever discipline you out of the spirit of malice. I think many children who faced corporal punishment experienced it when the parent was very angry and taking their frustrations out on their children, and that can be dangerous psychologically for the child. At least it was for me. An appropriate punishment for problematic behavior always worked better for me in learning my lesson as a child than any beating with a “rod” or yelling in anger ever did. So I hope that when you get older I can adhere to these standards in raising you. I pray that God will give me the guidance and wisdom to handle such matter; disciplining you when necessary.
But like I said, God disciplines us without a physical rod, and I want to be like the Father. He disciplines us, or as it states in Hebrews 12 (NKJV), chastens us. To chasten means “to cause someone to feel humbled, subdued, or deeply regretful through a difficult experience or strict discipline” according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary. Hebrews 12 talks about how the Father chastens us, just like a good father would. And in Hebrews 12:11, it states: “Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterwards it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Even though being disciplined usually doesn’t feel good, the goal of discipline is to make us more holy in the sight of God, as well as bring us a peace that only living righteously can produce. It is also to protect us. So Jade, when I discipline you, I plan to do it in love and with the foreknowledge that you will be a better person because of it.
These were tricky subjects to tackle for me. I won’t know how you or I will handle them until we have to navigate these waters. But I do know this: I will love you when you are on the mountaintop or when you are in the valley, just as God has loved me through thick and thin. My prayer is that you are able to know the Father even more intimately than I do, and that you know that you can go to Him no matter what situation arises. I love you Jade, and God loves you as well.
September 25, 2026
